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|Saturday, January 31st, 2009|
|job search boo
this whole job search this is daunting and incredibly depressing. for starters, lovely economy to be graduating in- if i see one more tv or internet add for people who have been searching for months and applied to dozens of jobs and dont have anything im going to kill myself and/or those around me- but also i cant decide where i want to be. do i want to do the jewish community thing- because then im much better off staying in boston where there are more jews. do i want to do the museum thing, in whcih case i better get ready to get up and go, because no one is hiring and if i even get an interview i better get on a plane. do i more want to go home to ct, in which case ill take any job to be there and live rent free (hopefully in the condo on the beach by myself). i miss my family, i really miss my nieces, and this city is so depressing in the winter, its cold and i have to walk everywhere, i have no money so there is nothing to do, and im tired of college/the college enviroment. im tired of living around stupid students who exist for nothing but keg parties.
someone wanna make a decision for me? 18 jobs in 2 weeks so far, and ive heard nothing. ive never failed at anything before, and this feels sort of like a failure. ive always gotten the coop jobs i've wanted, so i didnt expect this to be so hard. suppose i had to get knocked down at some point. maybe ill just go back for my phd?
|Sunday, January 11th, 2009|
thats what i feel like im walking on everyday of my life living here. when im not on eggshells because apparently my very presence and speech bother them, im floating on the fringes, trying not to get in anyones way, or trying to stay away because they bother me so much. this year was supposed to be the best, it was supposed to be a culmination of school, living with my best friends, finding a great job, figuring out my life. instead, i want so desperatly every day to crawl back under the covers and not come out until things are better. problem is, i have no idea how to make them better. i dont know what to say, what (not) to do, or how to act. i also dont know if i even care to find out. im counting down the days until may 1st, at which point we're all done, the stress is potentially lifted, and its like that hazy time of senior year in hs where everyone was so finished with one anther they were nice and didnt care about anything. i just want to be done, i wanna finish school, have a great job lined up, and move the hell away from here. im finished with boston, and if i could finish school at home i might actually do it.
i miss my family, i miss watching my nieces grow up, i swear theyre bigger everytime i go home. i miss lazy afternoons watching football together, laughing. maybe im one of those wierd people who actually likes their family better than their friends, i dont know how many of them ive ever met, but we have a good time, and im ready to go back to that. heres hoping.
|Sunday, August 10th, 2008|
|back from europe
prague was the greatest city ever. vienna and budapest were also lovely. i have a 23 page journal that documents everything i have done (we were required to have 250 words or more a day at minimum) so if you want to know what i saw, i have that and two papers, and like a thousand pictures.
hope youre interested.
ps. i wanna be an expat in prague.
pps. wish me luck!
|Thursday, June 19th, 2008|
so so so excited for prague!!!!
|Monday, April 21st, 2008|
sometimes i feel as if i have to tell myself to breathe, that im just moving so damn fast through everything, trying to get it done, trying to do well, trying not to think about anything that i forget to breathe, and then i feel as if im sinking down. i just dont get it, i dont get anything, i dont understand, but dont know if i want to. that floaty feeling that comes when im on the edge, ive felt like that for weeks now, i just wanted a response, i dont understand why everything had to change, i just wanted to know where to position myself so i dont get hurt. i feel as if im collapsing inside myself, i try to hide it and i can laugh it off most days, but then its dark and im sitting there struggling not to pull my hair out or cry myself to sleep. it was so easy the first time...well maybe not easy but at least i dont remember it being this hard. thats probably because i didnt have to think, and now im freaking out, which i do about once a month, but this one has lasted a while. i dont have a job, im barely doing my exams, and i dont even try at work anymore (two more weeks!!!!!!). i just want to come home to someone again, or have a nice long phone conversation where i can talk about politics, my feelings, and sex all in one call.
i miss having a best friend, i miss having a boyfriend, i miss having conistancy, i miss knowing where i stood and why i cared. i wish i didnt care as much, i wish i didnt talk myself into something i knew wasnt there. i wish i didnt freak out and question everything, i wish i could actually be spontaneous and go with the flow. i cant, im too uptight, too impatient, too demanding, and now ive ruined things. things were so good, so simple, so easy, and so calming. why did i freak out? why does one little thing make me doubt everything? why cant i accept what i am given? why cant i accept myself?
ive gotta start doing yoga again- they make you breathe.
|Sunday, February 24th, 2008|
so i went back today through my journal from israel- actually edited it a bit (but made sure to write where I edited, so that I wouldn't lose the feel of the experience). i still have some issues with Israel, but i might be ready to go back (i told a friend that a few days ago, and he was confused, as i dont think he was around for my hate israel phase- but still let me reflect a bit on my stuff).
going to italy, so im stressing a lot about that, about being able to pack and bring the right clothes, and are we staying with that girl, or are we not?
imagine being buried alive- jeez id freak. (sidebar)
i have a new...something. i dont know what to do, i dont know what to say, and i feel like im freaking and breaking a part, and im gonna scare it away. i know im too serious and too everywhere, all over the place, and too dramatic. i wish i knew what everyone was thinking (or even what the hell i am thinking). im scared im gonna fuck it up, like i fuck everything else up.
cant tell if im getting depressed, its been going on for a while, its that floaty feeling, like im swimming under water, and i cant tell if im going to come up for air anytime soon. i do every once in a while, and that tight feeling in my chest subsides, and i can breathe, but those times are fewer and further a part. part of its paranoia, i wish i could see into the future, and just see if ill be happy again, or even content. i was last year, and im not now. im floundering, and sometimes someone will throw me a lifeline, but its temporary. my friends make me laugh, and i can stop thinking for just a minute, but theyre not always around, and sometimes i need my space. its when im alone (my decision, sometimes space is nice) that i start thinking, and we all know thats dangerous. i overthink everything, more than everything. i wish i could just be for a while, or even a bit, be content, but even judging by the idea jumping from this entry, i doubt that will be possible.
pretty song lyrics, but dont feel like posting them.
ps. americas next best dance crew = amazing. i wish i could dance, i think i might be descending into a rap phase again, truly enjoying it (though how far into a hip hop phase can i go when i say i "truly enjoy" the music? sometimes i really am too white)
i need hash. asap. Current Mood: contemplative
|Thursday, February 21st, 2008|
ok not really, jess's friend from home died today, she'd had cancer since high school and lost her fight today. jess came home from work and was freaking out (chris was here, but shes not really the sympathetic type) so i did my best to comfort her. we're gonna drive home tomorrow, which will be interesting because its supposed to be snowing excessively. awesome.
so excited, i leave for italy in a week!!! florence florence florence, with a little bit of rome thrown in.
laundry this weekend, trying on bridesmaid dresses, then back to boston to do more work than i can imagine. dunno why im writing this, i dont really have much to update about. life is normal, mostly cold, and im ready for summer (germany!!)
peace out cub scout. Current Mood: restless
|Monday, January 21st, 2008|
|maui melon mint orbit gum = amazing
self explanatory i think.
general update: israel was amazing, but wont be going back for a while (or so i thought for a while- im considering it now- go figure) doing another dialogue this summer to prague, vienna, budapest, bratislava, and dresden, in addition to going to italy with chris for spring break (letting the two of us loose in a foreign country with good wine is such a bad idea). just did puerto rico with the family over new years (hating winter like nobodies business now that i know part of the world is still tropically beachy). dads getting married ths summer when i get back from europe, then maryland with the family (and some people possibly) and then hopefully two glorious weeks on the beach of nc outer banks before senior year with the girls begins.
found the cutest apt with jess chris and d for next year, now im living with jess over on symphony in a cute but tiny and cold apt (and ready to move in with the rest of the girls)
boy deal- not with adam (obvi for those who talk to me ever) and im ok with it- i didnt deal with it for a while, but i think ive come to terms with the whole situation. it was four years, it was a significant event in my life, and you always carry around a piece of your first love with you, but ive moved on (and hope he has too).
getting my masters here now- finished coop- hate hate hate my job (stayed on part time two days a week) still teaching hebrew school- but second graders- sooo cute.
im really content for the first time in a while. im happy with neu, with my friends, even to an extent with the lack of boy situation, though i can say to another extent im ready for round two (or four if you count high school which i dont really). i miss dating, having someone to play with in the snow (though the girls are so far a good replacement to boys in terms of entertainment factor) and walk around the city with in the summer just because i feel like it.
classes suck- im ready to graduate and go back to work and have money again.
oh and i heart my shoes (esp the new cute red flats i bought today) mucho. Current Mood: cold
|Tuesday, March 20th, 2007|
first day of spring. happiness :) as i have decided i absolutly hate winter. yup, me, the one who looooves snowboarding and sledding and snow ball fights and always talks about how much i hate summer and its heat thing, yea im craving summer. im in boston for most of it, and it is soo nice here in the summer, so chill and relaxed, all the students go away and its just empty, especially august when the city disapears for the cape (but i get to too so its cool).
how lame is it that i started off talking about weather, but lets be honest, when you have no car and are all over the city every day, its a big deal actually. i can honestly say the weather affects my life greatly, mood wise and how wet my pants are (which i hate by the way)
so stuff has been good, adam and i are doing really well, no serious fights, though we spat a bit every once in a while. with him working and me super busy again (though i honestly have no idea what i do all day long) we dont talk very much which is kind of depressing but i get to see him for the next few weekends, which i am also craving along with sunshine.
looking for coop jobs sucks, the one i really really wanted at the us office of education and civil rights, my advisor wont send out my resume to that one :( but the other one i liked (4 day a week job- no fridays) i have an interview for next week and im super nervous. dont care how many of these you do, its nerve-racking every time!
concerting this weekend, passover next weekend, then easter, then no work for two weeks, then finals, then move home for a month. then onto israel!!!! so so so excited, i get to spend five weeks there studying touring, etc. so excited for falafel and shwarma and the kotel and jerusalem and the desert and everything! five weeks away is a long time with no phone or internet to chat with people (and that whole 7 hour time difference thing) cause theyre too expensive (i def charged like a couple hundred dollars last time i was there for a week talking to people...oops)
oh yea, st patricks day was last weekend. i had my first (and second and third) irish car bomb and lots and lots of guiness, i felt like i supported the home country's liquor economy greatly. then i went home, threw it all up, passed out, and went to work. adam and his friends camped out in my apt, and that was...interesting.
quite excited for the upcoming season, and even more so for summer, cruising for 10 days with the family, turning 21 (finally), and potentially only working 4 days a week (though we know ill get another job). yup, quite excited :)
|Monday, February 12th, 2007|
|slacking off at work as usual
i moved last weekend!! i love my new roomates, we have hung out a bit so far, but they work a lot so the apt is really quiet most of the time. nobody has stolen any of my things so far (though i keep checking religiously- gotta shake that)
had an ok weekend, got to see uconn jess on friday, but then didnt go out cause i had to be up at 7 for training at harvard (mentoring) and it went well, interesting and such, qdoba catered. bonded with my co-mentor (the good one) and such. then sat night i did homework and hung out, sunday i worked and had a staff meeting (sooo boring, i now know more about add and adhd then i ever wanted- or needed- to know) then laundry sunday night and now im at work.
life updates- applied for the israel dialogue- may 29-july 1. hopefully then back to cruise the carribean, turn 21 on us soil, then maybe back to israel for coop at a museum (prob yad vashem caues i just looove the holocaust).
still lonley in boston- the boy is in hartford for a while now, looking into buying a house with his friend (or renting from him, i dunno) unfortunatly. its cold here, i need a warm body in my bed, if you know of anyone, send them my way :) but dont tell my boyfriend.
home this weekend to chill out in a big bed with real food and a target and walmart within driving distance- quite excited.
|Sunday, January 28th, 2007|
so i had a lovely weekend (to some degree) thanks for asking. it went as follows:
friday night i had a pseudo shul date (good luck deciphering that one non-Jews) where i went to synagogue with a kid who's grandma died on the same day as my grandpa, and it was our last shabbat of mourning, so we went and cried together, really cute. then we went to dinner, sushi, where thankfully i learned he also has a significant other (or future son-in-law as my mother likes to introduce him to rabbis) of a lengthy period of time, though that did not stop us from having a wonderful first date (that wasnt a date, cause we split the check, but good convo and such)
then i went to jess's cause lets face it we're married, and we went out (even thoug i had to be up at 730 on sat) and she was such a good mom, telling me to stop drinking and sober up and go home cause i would regert it in the morning (and i kinda did) but best part of the whole evening/whole weekend!!! i met a kid who is working on the romney campaign (i told him he should not tell people that, so for the rest of the night he told people he worked for gilette and could get them free razors) and we talked drunken politics (me) and no so drunken politics (him) and he actually told jess after i left- that i was (and i quote) "surprisigly level-headed, and he enjoyed talking to me." (end quote) what the fuck?!? thats the best compliment/most amusing thing ive ever heard. damn straight if i ever see that kid again (and remember his name) yup id probably sleep with him just to hear him say "level-headed" again.
so i went home, and then i passed out and woke up at 730 still drunk and went into dorchester to get my girls (9 year olds that i mentor) and brought them to northeastern and showed them around campus and then took them to our conferance, proceded to get slowly more and more hungover as they got louder and louder, and then took them home and passed out in bed for a looong time (after talking to jess and hearing about how level-headed i am). then i stayed in on sat cause im super cool like that.
sunday was up for work again, and i went out to lunch and kosher butcher shopping with the cousin i havent talked to in ...a year? and the falafel was delicious and i want to go back, and the guy working the counter (her roomate) was so tall and so hot and so jewish it made me want to move to israel and have his babies. it was super. then i came home and did homework and at my meeting got to talk about how flaky my co-mentor was and it was wonderful.
so its been 30 days officially since the funeral. i can dance, i can listen to music, i can take the black ribbons off my coats, i can officially hide the fact that i havent focused on it, tried to block it out and not think about it, and i still have some serious serious issues i need to face/resolve. i was still mad at him when he died, we never talked about anything, he wasnt my grandpa the last few years, and i never actually came to terms with my anger before he died. on the one hand im still kinda angry about shit, and on the other its pathetic let it go and remember the good. maybe i should see a shrink or something, someone who i can talk to about all these things, cause its not going so well inside my head. i tear up every once in a while, the painful kind too where your throat closes up first and you know youre going to cry and just try to hold it in until you get to a bathroom or something?
so ive talked longer than i wanted about this, especially considering i dont think anyone reads this, but its nice to vent sometimes. hope it gets better, hope i get better.
|Saturday, October 28th, 2006|
so last night was night one of halloween festivities (might be the only night for me as 9am teaching on Sundays isnt always condusive to partying Saturday night). I went as...cheering up the troops? It was army, with a lot of clevage and leg basically. Went out with Jess (Greek fairy deal) and a bunch of other girls (nurses, witches, creepy 80s guy who was so hot) and such, party hopped cause the cops were out. saw Tracey Durner (gladiator- nice) and got really really drunk, and enjoyed myself immensely, walked so far up the hill I didn't know where I was anymore, then when we walked down it turned out we were right behind stop and shop, it started to rain, lots of people were creepy. all in all, a successful halloween celebration (first parties everyone was in costume, by the end of the night it was just us).
by the by, people at 4 in the morning in boston on the streets not in costume are creepier than those dressed up. odd.
|Wednesday, October 11th, 2006|
so i'm at work (cause honestly other than class what do i really do with my time?) and im bored. i have some homework, but if its not done no one will notice and im never tested on it. i could do work for next week but i dont feel like it. im worried because i have an exam tomorrow that i am somewhat prepared for, but kind of not, but i just really dont feel like studying more. its a stupid intro class (which by the way never take them as not freshmen cause its frustrating how babied you are and how dumb some of the other kids are) and its stupid material- all theories with people's names. whatever.
so i work a lot now. still at facing history, now im being more underutalized than ever before, i work an average of like six hours a week physically, but really like 30 min worth of actual work (except yesterday man i hate transcribing). im teaching now too- i know they let me teach children? hebrew school- holocaust course, i enjoy it so far even though i have realized how fricken difficult teachers who have kids with add or adhd all day long have it (i want to physically hurt him) but its only a couple hours on sunday mornings, so its not so bad. then i have my boring office job, where i sit here and do homework (or update livejournal). i usually leave early, even though my timesheets do not reflect that (shh...dont tell anyone!)
i hate my roomate. she thinks its her apt and has parties all the time even though im always trying to do work or sleep (three jobs, four full-time classes, lots of reading, etc) and shes a bitch and likes to smoke in the dorm (with its super high tech smoke detectors cause shes the stupidest person ever, rargh) and i hate her basically. shes a bitch and a child and i hate her. i like my other roomate though, but it looks like she might be transfering and shes a little too wrapped up in her boyfriend and is never here on weekends.
i can go out this weekend! for the first friday in much too long, i can get wonderfully smashed as i have no offical work on saturday! :) let me know what is up.
thats my life, its boring and im tired all of the time (never should have given up coffee). goodnight
|Saturday, August 12th, 2006|
despite the fact that i never update this, i guess i will now cause i have a reason. (by the by fill out the damn survey at the bottom)
august!! yesterday was my last day of work until september, where i then attempt to juggle four classes (including a writing course) and three jobs!! wooh, lets here it for over-acheiving. well what can you do im so unbelievably broke its not funny. but of course the job i am working the most hours it a "volunteer" position, but i absoblutly love love love facing history (had my first moment yesterday girls- it was wierd) and im mucho ok with working there unpaid (well maybe just sort of ok).
heading down to maryland on sunday, mmm 8am, havent seen that hour in a while (oh wait, last week when i was at work!) but itll be nice, adams coming and im super excited to finally get to see him for more than 2 days at a time (stupid long distance even over the summer) and its the beach and its sunny and beautiful and i love camping!!! (can you tell im excited?)
well speaking of last day of work- i loooooooove the girls i worked with this summer. they are amazing and wonderful and i could not have asked for a better group to work/chat/chill with all summer. i miss them already, especially since some of them started leaving early in the week (stupid cheer camp and ghana). farewell lunch on friday was lovely, i would very highly reccomend pho lemongrass on harvard in brookline- lot of vietnamese, some thai, mostly wonderful.
after week of maryland, i move myself out of my apartment which i was sharing with some lovely ladies (well most of them who didnt eat my food/use my shampoo/just piss me off in general hoarding my cups) but then i move back onto campus (coventry in my very first official single) and i work there too. im really excited for classes this fall, finally get midler writing out of the way, and i am looking into study abroad next fall (prague baby) so we'll see where my life goes from there. while you filling out the survey, keep a question in mind:
study abroad in prague- mmm eastern european jewish studies
coop again- dunno where probably boston
i can do one of the two if i want to graduate a year early, which i do cause neu is so damn expensive. thats my life. thanks for listening.
Who is the love of my life:
Where did we meet:
Take a stab at my middle name:
How long have you known me:
When is the last time we saw each other:
Do I make you smile:
What am I afraid of:
What makes me smile:
Am I a night person:
Can I write:
Do I like to read:
Quote me on something:
Do I smoke:
Do I drink:
When is my birthday:
What was your first impression of upon meeting me:
Do I have any siblings:
What's one of my favorite things to do:
Am I funny:
What's the best feature about me:
Am I shy or outgoing:
What is a memory we have once had:
Have you ever hugged me:
What is my favorite food:
Have you ever had a crush on me:
If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be:
What is my worst habit:
Can I dance:
If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what one thing would I bring:
Will you repost this so I can do it for you: Current Mood: super excited!
|Thursday, April 20th, 2006|
You Have A Type A Personality
You are hyper, energetic, and always on the mood
You tend to succeed at everything you attempt
And if you don't succeed at first, you quickly climb your way to the top!
You could be called a workaholic, but you also make time for fun
As long as it's high energy and competitive, you're interested
You have the perfect personality for business and atheltic success
i hate colds. head colds, chest colds, congestion, etc. they all fricken suck. especially when its wicked nice out and you are stuck inside writing a bunch of papers and studying for finals. im so hopped up on medicine right now i feel like im swimming through the air. ordinarily wouldnt mind the intese high that comes from accidentaly waking up and thinking its time to redose on sudafed when its only been an hour since you last took some, but this is really conflicting with my whole move out and study process. rargh.
that and now i have to find an apartment to sublet for the summer, and since im leaving here on tuesday, either someones gonna have to go look at them for me or im gonna have to rent something without actually seeing it (sketchy considering the one i looked at yesterday sounded awesome on paper and was horrifying to see) but yea...thats my life.
working with holocaust stuff at an internship/coop this summer/fall. anyone surprised? debating dropping the coop part in the fall and just doing the internship over the summer and classes in the fall. id love to get out of here sometime soon so i need to take a whole bunch of classes to do that.
ready for classes to be over, work to not exist anymore, and to be able to sleep and lounge a whole lot outside with no responsibilities. right.
back to bed :) Current Mood: congested
|Tuesday, March 14th, 2006|
its already the middle of march!! we have literally like four weeks left of classes (not counting this week which i wont) before exams and then even exams dont look horrifying, as i only have two during the week.
picked summer housing, single with jess. pick fall housing on thursday, even though ill end up cancelling it cause my stupid boyfriend better get his ass up here to live with me. i want a big bed with a cuddly boy in it all the time. a lot.
submitting my independant major thing. gonna be nu's first jewish studies major. thats really dorky.
looking for a coop job. if anyone knows a good one that pays well, tell me. cause my coop advisor is useless and knows of nothing.
sleepy time, its only 11 but i had a long day of work work work hair cut dinner work. my hair looks cute though, soo short! the man just chopped and i almost cried. there was like seven or eight inches on the ground. it was horrible. but it looks good so im ok with it.
ok, night kids. hope everyones spring break went (is gonna go) well. mine was super chill, niceness at home with boy. i love relaxing on the couch watching movies eating popcorn. just so chill twas wonderful.
oh but one last note: what the fuck is with this damn cold all of a sudden? i didnt even bring my fluffy boots back to school since it was like 50 all last week and this week so far. and tommorrow its gonna be 30 again? damn you march! damn you! Current Mood: cheerful
|Thursday, February 9th, 2006|
so im at work, and since a. i dont actually have anything to do, and b. i dont want to work on my exam right now, ill update. :)
its damn cold. i hate february, i hate valentines day, probably just cause im jealous of people who get to go on dates when valentines day is during the week (bah why can we all just skip classes/internships?) but its a dumb holiday, a good excuse to buy lingerie and chocolate and get laid though.
so yea, working on school, doing ok i think. being at work 10 hours a week means i get like 10 hours of homework done during the week though, so thats nice. im wicked ahead in one class, and on task for the others (first time ever!!) so thats kinda exciting or at least satisfying. we pick out housing for the summer soon i think, im probably just gonna move into jess's dorm cause she has air conditioning and an extra single that i can hopefully just stay in for the fall. i dont really care where i live, im just tired of sharing. i want my own room. i havent shared a room since i was like 5 and my sister was a baby it kinda didnt count. then i had to share for only a semester and got used to being alone. now i have to live with a person, and i dont hate it, im just so tired of not having any space of my own (not her fault, i have a bed in one room, a desk in another, and closet/clothes in another- its complicated) but yea...
wish there was more communication though. we're all walking on eggshells i feel, or at least i am. we'll see. five years here will be interesting though. almost done with two!! lets see if i can graduate early too, that would be truly spectacular on so many levels, the least of which is financial. but yea, ill have a job when i graduate (sorry just had to rub that in the faces of all of you universities/colleges without coop programs (all the country cept five i think)) cause ill have worked a whole bunch- never too happy with neu, but now watching/helping adam try and find a job convinced me that yea, having work experience/networking possibilities is much better than not. much much better.
so good luck to all those of you not enrolled here or ...drexel? is there anyone else. oh the u of cinncinatti i believe. maybe. oh well. good luck anyway. Current Mood: freezing
|Saturday, February 4th, 2006|
rargh. decent day, bad evening, fun night.
had mucho stuff today, coop meeting, had to journey to coplely to go to the library lest they give the very hard to find book away, cvs, but it was all good cause it was so nice out! granted the humitidy made it possible for me to rock the fro, but it was all good. i dealt.
came home, my "mother" yelled at me for not cleaning up my mess, whatever. still frustrated but i'm gonna try my damndest to let it go (but soo not talking to her the rest of the weekend- though that was probably her plan) but whatever. moving on.
hung out with jess and her two friends (one from home, one friend who is friends with the friend from home). got all pretty and went to a party on columbus, frat, ick, smelled horrible. stayed for a bit, etc, came back to jess's and watched television, now back here. not really ready to go to sleep yet, maybe ill finish off pleasantville since my shift ended yesterday before i could finish it.
goodnight all. hope your weekends are going well.
oh yea ps. got almost head butted and then was groped by a short frat guy we met on the way back from the party. he was very drunk. i unfortunatly was not drunk enough. Current Mood: frustrated but ok
|Wednesday, January 25th, 2006|
so sick so sick of being tired
and oh so tired of being sick
so i recently became addicted to postsecret.com (thanks mindi) and well...i want to do it. i want to mail in my secrets. im too much of a pussy, so i wrote them all down in a word document. every once in a while i open it up and add to it.
its four pages long.
apparently im not that honest of a person. Current Mood: blank